Many humans are embarrassed at their bad memories for names and will sometimes lie and say “Oh, yea I remember you.” Instead say “You look very familiar but I’m afraid your name escapes me for the moment. What is it again?” This is a far more honest answer to an embarrassing situation.
If you are a respected leader in an important authoritarian position then you won’t last long with a bad memory for names and never stay in that important leadership position with this white lie approach.
How many times have you heard the expression “I love it!” especially coming from women and girls who exaggerate reality just to make someone feel good about themselves and their choices. I love that dress, jewelry, handbag, shoes, swimwear, etc. demonstrating a total lack of standards of quality. They also expect to hear those same words from the men in their lives who may not approve or have a dislike but are desperate just not to hurt the feelings of a significant other.
A dress is either OK, you like it, it’s sexy, like it much, and don’t like something about it. Almost no one falls in love with a dress, etc. for a long duration and it is just a momentary expression of extreme exaggerated lying approval.
What I like to say is something good about the dress or any other item which I am commenting on if it is not totally my favorite. I like the pattern, it has nice symmetry, the color combination is nice, the style is good, the cut of the dress is fine, it is sexy enough, or it has eye appeal.
But I never fail to point out what I may not like about it too by saying it is a little bit too busy, the color combination could be better, it is too asymmetric, it is not my favorite color, the style is too formal or informal, and the pattern is not one of my favorites, it is too sexy, the style is a little dated, the cut is too high or too low to be one of my favorites, I liked your previous dress better, it’s for an older or younger woman, etc.
Be honest but in a nice way and say in a discriminating fashion what you like about it the most and what you consider some of its flaws. It’s beautiful or ugly shows a lack of logical discriminating ability which is unfortunately rampant in this society so determined to be liked or so determined not to emotionally hurt someone.
“I am busy that day.” When your schedule is blank is another unnecessary white lie. Say instead “I have other plans that day.” Which is more honest because there is a high probability that if you like to do much and are busy on a moment’s notice sometimes then it is a totally believable more honest excuse and you may be making new plans for that time slot in a few hours or days.
“I totally forgot to do that thing you asked me to do.” If you didn’t forget then it is the sign of a liar who doesn’t fulfill promises and will not be liked for it and your reputation as a dependable person will begin to be destroyed. Instead if you honestly forgot to fulfill a promise then say “I am very sorry and apologize and promise that I will not let it happen another time.” If you don’t intend on fulfilling a promise then don’t make it in the first place and avoid having to make up some phony excuse for not fulfilling the promise.
Saying “I’m fine.” When you are not is another white lie not worth making. Humans can frequently sense by your tone of voice, body language, and facial expression that there is something troubling you and putting up a false front will create suspicions that you lie about your feelings and once again a suspicion of dishonesty will only hurt your reputation in the long duration. Say instead “I am not fine right now but I will get over it soon or by tomorrow.”
White lies are dishonesty in action and if you don’t get personally physically or emotionally scarred by lying then your reputation will definitely suffer in the long duration and almost no one will want to become a loyal respectful friend of yours in the long duration.
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Tagged: common sense, dishonesty, education, honesty, love, lying, promises, reputation, science, society, truth, white lies
